US Closeted No More

No wonder I haven’t been getting any alumni mailings. It seems that my alma mater is trying to embrace “diversity” without becoming Catholic in Name Only.

“The University of Scranton is one of a number of Jesuit schools currently working on ways to add resources for its gay and lesbian students,” Network Notes, a newsletter for the University of Maryland at College Park’s Rainbow Terrapin Network reported in 2003! “This fall, in fact, the small northeast Pennsylvania college will debut its ‘Ally’ program, a program intended to train interested members of the campus community to listen and respond to lesbian and gay students.”

“The program is similar to those already in place at other Jesuit schools like Boston College.” Network Notes acknowledged that “Scranton is in the difficult position of providing more services while also remaining true to its Jesuit and Catholic ideals.”

The snarky among us might point out that “da U” is well on its way to accomplishing the former goal. In an official document, the university admitted that its Center for Health Education and Wellness (CHEW) “is also assisting in the development of a Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual (GLB) Ally program composed of trained faculty and staff to serve as allies for GLB students and address issues of homosexuality on campus.”

“The Director of CHEW provides educational programs for students regarding diversity and GLBT issues; CHEW staff members and staff in the Office of Residence Life are members of the National Coalition Building Institute, and collaborate to provide training for campus Resident Assistants using this model.”

With all due respect:

1.) CHEW might want to change its name a bit in order to create another acronym; and

2.) Speaking of models, BC may not be the ideal that the university’s fathers want to emulate: At BC, it’s easier to find faculty advisors for the LGBT chapter than it is to unearth pedagogues who will mentor the College Republicans; and

3.) One thing that these lads and lasses contemplating “coming out in The Electric City” may want to ask themselves: Will anyone notice?

4.) A final question: What are the “allies” giving up for Lent? I’m not sure I want to know what they are doing for Mardi Gras.

Malcolm A. Kline is the executive director of Accuracy in Academia.